My last living grandparent passed away last week. Sad, yes, but also a relief for one who suffered as long as my grandmother did.
Our trip to Southern Utah for the funeral was short, but sweet. Full of family and a little sight seeing in between.
As sad as I was for my grandmother's passing, I found it strange that there is something I mourn every month that, for me, is even sadder than that. Not being able to have more children. I mourn for the life that never got to be. I go through that grief month after month and it never gets easier. I always have some tiny little hope that maybe......maybe this will be the month that a miracle happens.
But it's not meant to be yet. I feel strongly that the Lord's timing is the perfect timing, no matter when it is. His timing is always perfect and it never makes sense until what we've been waiting for happens.
My grandmother suffered alone for nine years before her time to go came and I don't understand the reason for that, but I'm sure she does. I'm sure she's happy.
I'm sorry for the loss of your grandmother. It is hard to lose a beloved member of the family. However, I love the desert and I'm glad you had some time to get out and take pictures of the area. I find that nature is a solace for a battered soul, a reminder that we are but part of a grand plan that includes both birth and death. Know that children are a gift, if you are unable to have more, then treasure those you do have. I chose to not have children, for many reasons, not the least that I have many inherited health problems that I had no desire to pass on to another generation. Be Blessed with what God has given you, in family, health, gifts and know that He will give you no more than you can handle.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind word Illy- you are so kind! Yes, nature is my therapy as well as art. It helps so much. Sometimes it feels like the Lord does give me more than I can handle on my own, so that I'll rely on Him more. It's a lesson I learn over and over.
DeleteYou have a beautiful soul and talents that create beautiful art. I'm sorry for your pain. Keep hanging onto that faith. There's nothing else that will get you through.
ReplyDeleteThanks for all of your encouragement Kristin. I couldn't make it without the support of my family :)
DeleteIm so sorry *hugs* xxxxx
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