My son started first grade last week, leaving me with more time to myself than I know what to do with. I took a short hike in the hills and it was gorgeous!
I'm sure many mothers out there could be a little jealous of my situation, having so much time to myself. That's what mother's never seem to get enough of right? Well for me it's bittersweet. I love having time to exercise, to think, to work on my talents and even get a nap. That part is awesome! But all the while I'm missing my little boy and wondering how it could be that he is growing up and spends so much time away from me. I'm fighting this feeling of loneliness and kind of feeling lost. Do I get a job? Do I really amp up my own business now? I was supposed to be raising small children at home for the next 10+ years. That was the plan. I didn't plan for the possibility that that might not happen.
I know in time I'll find my groove and it'll be ok. For now I'm trying to rehabilitate myself. I've been able to swim without getting major back/neck pain for the first time in about 5 years! I can't tell you how incredible that feels! You don't realize how limited your life was until you start to get it back.
That is a lovely sunflower photo :).
ReplyDeleteI think children developing more independence os always a bitter sweet afair. At the minuite I am in the depths of parenting small toddlers and I feel like I am desperate for that time to myself to paint. I am sure when it happens I will miss them terribly and feel horribly sad. .
Be gentle with yourself. Youll find your direction :)
Thanks for your nice comments and advice Jenna. It's hard to keep life balanced no matter what stage we are in and change is hard. I hope you can sneak in a little painting time during naps or at night!
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